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Some people have no sense of humour!

Swear word sweets bag shocks mum


Anyone for tennis?

Wouldn't mind getting a legova...


What can you say about this twat?

POSTMAN POT BURNT HIS LETTERS


Something to show the world that the average person would'nt be proud of

BIG BROTHER'S DRUNKEN SEX PARTY


The yokes one you!

FREE RANGE EGGS 'FRAUD'


They go after prostitutes then, that will make me feel safer swimming.
Sharks 'pick targets in same way as killers like the Ripper'


A new feature to add to iPod marketing
iPod saves girl hit by lightning

The book is open on how long this will last.
Mother-of-six branded 'a disgrace' after leaving family for son's 18-year-old friend


laugh of the month

GRIFFIN A 'RACE VICTIM'


Sign him up
Amateur cricketer scores 39 off a single over


Even the Aussies are pulling out! Oh, and taking their beer with them

What a XXXX-ing shame!


Oh yes she did! Oh no she did'nt!
Girl has 56 stars tattooed on face after 'falling asleep'

Alfred Hitchcock could see the future.
Granny's terror in gulls raid


Well it made me sweat
The ad that was too hot for TV!


Was it wearing a bullet proof vest?

Cat shot 50 times survives


Did she get breakfast or was that extra?
Polish woman wakes up in morgue


Is this god providing hamburgers for the world?

16 cattle sheltering under tree killed by lightning strike

The wrong kind of wind!
Insurers reject claim for damage to house because the wind was 'too slow'

The ice cream kid
Sheriff ticks off migrant charged with throwing ice cream at shop worker for finding charges funny


Bigus Dickus

Ronaldo penis envy shocker!


A right royal rave up

All-night benders, 'lesbian' clinches, druggy pals.. the shocking truth about Prince Harry's new girl


Breakages will be paid for
Parker balls-up

Driving offender Vs psychopath ... one winner

DAD LOCKED UP WITH KILLER

Who would have thought it!
Cabbage is best vegetable in bed


Encouraging children not to be children.

Boys to get credit card for condoms


What do you mean "getting"?

I'm getting huge boobs!

Thanks to the banks
Noddy Wakes Up and Smells the Coffee

Come into my territory and you play by my rules
Crows attack cat stuck 70ft up tree


The best of the best of the breast

Megan is the breast in the biz

In amongst the frozen peas
Woman hides mum's body in freezer for 20 years at London home over immigration inquiry fears

What a way to get the girls!

Teenager's 60ft painting of penis on parents' roof spotted in space

This parrot swears by it!
Ruby the swearing parrot ... GENIUS!


Sporting conflict

HORNY DANI CAN'T SCORE


Now you can throw your 2000 calendar away

The Calendar Girls bare all again for 2010 charity calendar


Aliens coming to the UK for summer, much like swallows

More sightings of UFO


Patient complained after the event. Told you he was mentally ill

Nurse had sex with mentally ill patient


Did he get into trouble for hanging around?

Boy’s leg impaled on metal spike as he climbed fence



It's the woman in the bath not the singing!
Bath singer is YouTube star

What Twitter is not all about!

Get your twits out for the lads

Atomic Fart
Loo just won't believe it


More of our money spent of high level science
Defra says 'rain is good for ducks' (Read the story)

Human sewage to power thousands of homes (Read the full story)

Reported in today’s Telegraph is that Manchester will soon be running on POO power. A pilot scheme due to go on-line in 2011 will generate enough gas to power up to 5000 homes. I guess thats somewhere between 0 and 5000. Now on the face of it this seems like a good idea but there are a few minor details to be considered for the future. First of all, who owns the poo, is it the water board who we pay to remove and process it, or is it yours and mine to sell as a raw material to the highest bidder. Could we have small "mom and pop" cottage industries springing up manufacturing methane. This could bring back the modern day rag and bone man roaming the streets on his horse and cart shouting "crap, poo, crap, poo". You wouldn’t want this sort of industry next door or up wind of you. Talking about wind; is there likely to be a business where farts can be traded as pure methane, I know a few guys who could make a fortune practically overnight.
If this is a success and we eventually rely on poo power you can just imagine when it all goes wrong or there is a shortage. Sorry no power today it’s the wrong kind of poo, or, help the country eat a vindaloo a day, or if you don’t have a sore bum you're not sitting down on the job. Please add others to comments.

On the face of it this seems like a good idea, but right at the moment anything that the government has an interest in worries me and you cant help but wonder ...

So off to work



Let's all have a party, Lets all have a party ...
ESTATE AGENT WHO TRASHED HIS CLIENT'S £500K HOUSE 
(Read the story)

Gangster ammo 'is Brit TVs' (Read the full story)

Well the Sun have got the most startling story to date, and at this point I am wondering if this is really the silly season starting early.(click the headline) That said its a bit worrying if its true. The story relates to old TV and computer monitors being shipped out to Africa, the lead being extracted and then made into ammunition. REALLY!!
Let’s just have a look at what lead they are able to extract from a monitor ... according to the story it is 15lbs, enough to make 800 rounds or bullets. What! Do me a favour, 15lbs of lead in my computer monitor, if there is, it was put there by someone else. I know because I carried it upstairs and reckon the whole thing weighs about 15lbs. However this has got me thinking! If there is all that lead in a monitor, hang on just a bit for some math’s, ah got it. I only need 150 monitors to produce one ton of lead, enough to start a minor war with 119,466 bullets, or to replace the lead on the church roof, which was nicked last week. Is there anyone out there who actually knows how much lead is in a monitor ... If the Sun is correct will have to look at changing my job.


This should have had another two noughts on it!

Motorist wins £1,000 compensation for mental stress caused by bailiffs


The new road rage!
Golf rage attacks as player hits man with club over ball squabble

Children by the foot!

Boy, 10, charged full price at restaurant after waiter measured him and said he was too tall for children's menu


Did the Mother-in-law lose something?

'Witch bottle' containing finger nails, hair and pins discovered


Not Happy with the wheels?

'Unreliable' car covered in warning signs and dumped outside dealership


And What Class are you?

The breed of dog you choose shows which class you are, researchers claim


It's just not cricket old boy!
Cricket thumpire


Sounds like a career change!
Dying man wins bet to stay alive


And What's Hartlepool famour for? Hanging monkeys!

The mayoral candidate making a monkey out of the system